We love our joke that John Lennon should have come to us before choosing Mark Chapman as a fan so much that we're going to use it again. FANS!!
Watch us pull out every testicle-related euphemism under the sun as we get testy with coco.
Never mind the ballasts, here's HYDROMAG! And we bring you the results of years of painstaking research... Do we ever hear a "thank you"? Fuck no.
Jesus Christ. More tests!!!? Well this is our SPECIAL TEST ISSUE! Better get used to it. In this feature we explore - you guessed it - filters.
That's right folks, we're looking at soil, and we don't mean the contents of our pants. We're talking real soil. Or is it?
By this stage we feel like the average 11 year old British kid who's so jaded by relentless tests that he's started self-harming and wetting his bed again.